Road to Recovery: Not just physical

So a strange thing happened the other day.  I am sitting on the couch with Wade scrolling through Instagram and see a story from my friend Brooke talking about how she is doing American Open this weekend then competing in Dubai the next weekend, which is SO cool.  I sent her a message saying that and wishing her luck....then out of nowhere burst into tears.I truly felt happy for her, honestly did not feel jealous, but did feel sad.  Like really sad.   Even typing this now I get teary. I don't talk about it much, and clearly by my out of nowhere cry fest still have some serious emotions about how everything has gone these past 2 years.  I would LOVE to be going to lift at the American Open & LOVE to be getting ready for a major competition.  And very honestly I might never get to do that again.  That is not being negative...it's being realistic.  When I had shoulder surgery last summer I was extremely positive, was sure I could recover, work hard, make regionals (#ripregionals) ... and then that didn't happen, and it was sad (read about that here), but still thought it was something that could be fixed - so continued to stay positive.  I can't do that again.Now, I guess it was something that could be fixed, but I never imagined it would be with a shoulder replacement.  If it was fixing a labrum or bicep (which is still a big deal), I'd think there was still a good chance.  But this is different.  There are no promises I will regain full motion ( I know it's still early- I think I can do it....but also need to know there is that chance).  Without full motion there is no way I am doing kipping skills or Olympic lifts again.  I am realistic about that...but that doesn't mean it doesn't get sad. Letting go of something that was probably the most important thing to you isn't easy. I wasn't ready to be done, I still had some goals and some things to prove to myself.  Will I ever get to do that?  Who knows?  Sometimes things just suck.  I probably could do a better job of allowing myself to be sad about it- which is why I am sharing it with you, recognizing it's something & dealing with it.I will keep working hard on my motion & recovery.  Cheering on my friends who are out there working toward their goals. And creating some new goals for myself in different areas that hopefully for you (and me) will be as exciting as a 200# snatch or awesome gymnastics skills.  It's all a work in progress....just like the shoulder recovery.....small progress everyday.